Want Too know what's on my Mind ?

You've already seen my blog. You've seen it before. You looked at it today because you wanted to talk.

I wanted to talk, But I didn't want to make it awkward.
You knew who it was about,
You knew why I wrote these blogs,
You knew where it was coming from,
I gave the blog to Laine because I knew he'd show you.
I just never wanted to tell you in person,
I don't know why.
But we both know that I already do,
You're a person I can be myself around,
I may sometimes talk to myself,
Be a bit slack sometimes,
But that's just me.
Everyone has there ups and downs,
But there are some certain things that I like about you,

You may think you're weird, Creepy, Strange, and not like other girls.
But to some people,
Through their eyes...
You are, Amazing, Beatiful, Fun Loving and not like other girls.
You're not like other girls, You're different, You're a girl who sees the better in people.
I can't imagine my life without you.
I'm not sure what's on your mind right now.
But this is what is on mine.
You may think you know what's on my mind,
Ask yourself the question.
And the answer is Yes.
You never get off my mind,
It annoys me because sometimes I always think..
What if we break apart?
It'll be hard not to live with someone who has the same personality as you.
I mean.. I'm sure with a random guy you just met, he made you laugh and you started snorting like you do?
I'm sure he'll have a.. Lets say, A WTF FACE.

But that is what is "Partically" on my mind.
You know you're on my mind,
You know what to do,
But what you don't know,
Is what I'm going to do.
I'm afraid to lose you,
You're afraid to lose me.
You don't like loosing people..
But yet, It happens with some of your friends anyway.
True friends will never abandon you.
True friends will stick by your side even through the hardest of times.
I'm not leaving you, I never want too.
We all need a little help when we're crossing over a road.
We all need a little help when we're in a fight.
But only some people have a smile on there face,
Even when there day is darker than everyones.

But I don't want to remind you of the bad. You'll always have your 2 Best Friends in your life. And new friends who you meet along the way, I've said everything I needed too. And I really can not be bothered writing anymore that's on my mind. Because, There is only 1 more thing on my mind that will take a while to explain. I'll put it in short for you.

143.

The Day that I know will repeat.

I know this day will keep repeating in my mind,
After I told you I won't do it again,
I did it anyways,
I'm a pathetic loser If I'm doing this just to protect myself,
You deserve not to be lied to,
You deserve nothing but the truth,
So I'm going to give it to you.

I should've told you when I had the chance,
I should've just said it,
But then an interference came in,
I didn't want to talk,
I should've told you about it reguardless,
I know you know what I'm talking about,
This was the last thing I did lie about.
I didn't mean for it to pan out this way,
But it was the hand I was dealt and I have to make the best of it,
I have to mix and match the cards until I got the right hand,
I've for 4/5 cards right.
This next card I'm out to find will create the perfect hand,
No lies..
No Blushing..
Just a straight face the whole way while looking at you.

I can't even believe I went this far,
I should've told you from the start,
But you know me .. Of course I wouldn't,
But I'm sick of having the bad hand and it rubbing onto you.
You'll find out everything in a few hours.
In a few hours this will be a new start,
A new start to a new hand,
A new start level.

I've wanted this for so long.
You have no idea how safe I felt today,
With you It's like nothing can touch me,
But when we're together,
There's not even the smallest partical that can get through.

I love you. I'm not going to lie to you. I'm telling you everything. In a few hours, If you're crying, If you're happy I told you, I'm not sure what you'll be. But no matter what. I'll be there for you, And that's all I need to know.

My Best Friend.

You're my Best Friend,
Someone who I'll never forget,
We've had bad and good times together,
Bad times that both of us won't forget,
But we put that in the back of our minds so we can concerate on the present,
Never focus on the past,
Always focus on the present and the future,
Because good things can happen in the present and future,
If you pick the right people to be around.

I've made some stupid mistakes in the past,
That I wished I could've taken back,
I should've payed more attention to you than myself,
You were going through a lot more than I was,
But I over-Shadowed you with my lies,
I'm trying as hard as I can,
But it's like a drug,
I'm addicted.

But you're more important to me than a stupid drug,
I've stopped lying, So we can be like we used too.
I'll be trying my hardest to always be there for you.
There are some nights where I know you're upset,
There are some nights where I know you're angry,
There are some nights when I just want to be there for you and forget the world.

You are my Best Friend. And No One is going to change that.

Gone .. But Still Waiting.

"You" Say you'll be gone soon.
I can't trust either of you,
I can't do anything to stop it.
I can't do anything to help it.
All I can do is help you along the road ahead,
You might leave me by the side of the road while you speed on down,
But hey. That's just something I call life.
Shit Happens, Life goes on and we take the pain.

You may be gone soon,
But no matter where you are, You'll always be apart of my life that I won't forget.
All the times we spent with each other,
All the times we were complete dickheads together,
All the times we were ourselves together,
That was the happiest time of my life.
I ruined it by lying. I ruined it,
I wish I can take it all back,
I haven't lied in 2 weeks.
I'm trying my hardest to show you I've changed.
I'm not being a "Josh" as much as I can.
I'm just being "Caring" for your actions.
Your actions can sometimes be stupid,
And sometimes fucking idiotic,
But not matter what happens.
When you're gone, I'll still be waiting,
I won't give up.

I'll be that guy who wants when you're not there,
I'll be the guy who will love you even though you don't understand it,
I'll be the guy who will always be there for you when you're most need of a hug,
I'll be the guy who will be the Best Friend more than a dick.
You may go for BadBoys, But I really don't care.

We talk more than you know,
We told each other more than you think,
We're closer.
But I'd never lie to you.
If you would've asked, What did you and Laine talk about it.
I'd give you every detail,
If you asked what was wrong everynow and again..
I'd really like that, It shows you care,
But you know..
That doesn't happen.
I try, But I'm afraid I'll be a "Josh" again.

I'll always be waiting .. I'll always be here when you are in most need of a hug, Or someone to talk to.
If you leave me behind. I'll be okay,
Because, It'll be the first time you've done that,
Instead of someone else doing it to you.


I'll be waiting.

Best Friend.

The Signs You've given me. The Signs I've given you.

I've given you everything I've needed to give. 
I don't need to add anything, 

I don't need to take anything. 

I've given you all the signs you need,
If you want to run your life in the wrong direction,
That's fine with me. I don't care, I've given you signs,
I've told you what I needed to. 
You've given me signs. 
I've noticed them, But they're not enough.
You won't be hear soon. You won't be hear when I need you most.

 But you're the best thing that has happened to me,
You're the person I care about most, 
I may be talking to myself,
You may not care about me,
You may not even care If I left you,
But I know you do.
Because your fear is loosing someone,
I wouldn't do that to you. 
I won't be like all your other "Friends",
I'll always be there to pick up the pieces,
Everytime you're in a dark place,
I'll take you to the light.
Everytime you're in a sad place,
I'll humor you with my laughter to bring out the good in you.




You'll never leave my heart. I'll never forget the signs you've given me. I know you won't forget the signs I gave you. I will always love you no matter what happens.